Cosplay Day
by Findegil
Summary: Em, about a year ago I wrote this as an episode script, and just now rewrote it to be a story form. It's what would happen if the Host club cosplayed as anime/manga characters. Points to who can guess which characters are cosplayed!
1. Chapter 1

All the host club members except Haruhi were in the music room, getting ready for another cosplaying event as usual. As of yet, there are no customers. It was prep time, behind the scenes. And this wasn't your normal cosplay event...

"uh, my wig doesn't really fit", complained Honey, holding it up for Mori to look at.

"It looks ok."

"But look!" Honey said, putting on the long blonde wig, braided in one plait. It covered his eyes.

"That's because you don't put it on the right way", Hikaru interrupted, pushing it down to Honey's nose.

"That looks much better", added Kaoru.

"WAAAAAH! Idiots!" Honey yelled, and tried to hit them, but the twins dodged his flailing arms as the wig was still jammed over his eyes.

As if blindfolded and playing a game of blind man's bluff, Honey held his hands out in front of him and started to run towards Hikaru and Kaoru, whose boisterous laughing betrayed exactly where they were. Unfortunately for Honey, the twins had ducked behind Mori, who stood with his back turned from Honey. Honey plowed right into Mori.

"Stay still", Mori said as he held Honey from behind, and pulled the wig back so Honey could see. He deftly pinned the wig in place.

"Thank you, Mori-kun."

"Now for the gloves."

"It's hot enough as it is with this long coat."

"Just wait until they put the fake metal arm and leg on you. Then it'll be heavy AND hot." Hikaru said.

Honey made a face. "Arg."

"Mori-senpai has it easier; he's just got his uniform", Kaoru mentioned.

"But he has to act—which will be difficult, considering he's usually silent—as a sarcastic and witty lieutenant colonel," Kaoru finished.

They looked at each other and grinned.

"Who's secretly in love with you!" they said simultaneously.

Kyouya, walking past with his clipboard, stopped and said, "That's only according to the slash writers."

"They're the ones we're doing this for!" Kaoru said, wincing a bit.

"True, and it's going to be highly successful I think," Kyouya smiled.

The twins looked a bit dejected.

"Why can't they dress up for once...have a reverse cosplay day or something" Kauro moaned. "These costumes are uncomfortable."

"And who are you by the way?" Hikaru mumbled. "You still have glasses on…and nearly the same hair."

Honey, with his usual sharp ears, caught what Hikaru said. "I know who!" Mori nodded, as if that was all it took to say, "me too".

"He doesn't have to act much either…still slightly aloof and cold." Honey continued.

"Ah, but he has to be more than one character!" Tamaki interjected.

Everyone gasped. Tamaki had made his usual flashy entrance. He spread his arms out wide, as if to encompass the whole world in his next speech. The background music (as always, coming from who knows where) swelled, flowers fell (again, magically appearing from nowhere) and stars twinkled (don't ask).

Everyone just stared at him. Kyouya pushed up his glasses, while everyone else said together, "You look weird."

The background music abruptly stopped.

"What???" Tamaki queried, a trifle indignantly.

Hikaru decided to start with the obvious. "Your hair is like ours, my lord."

"It's the same color and everything, just untidier than ours..." Kaoru continued.

"…and clearly inferior," Hikaru finished.

Tamaki, by the time Hikaru stopped speaking, was now in his favorite corner, sulking.

In the tone of a mother who has just found out her husband has not taken the garbage out, Kyouya stooped down and addressed Tamaki. "I didn't tell you to put that on…where's your black suit? You're Sanji!"

Suddenly revived, Tamaki quickly flipped through a One Piece manga.

"I found out he's not the main character! It's this strange rubber powered straw hat guy!"

Throwing the manga over his shoulder, Tamaki continued, "I'm the king! In a manga cosplay, I have to be a main character!"

Kaoru picked up the discarded manga, and flipped through it with Hikaru. "This Sanji guy would suit you though. He's got your hair, and he's a skirt chaser. It doesn't require much acting on your part."

"AND," Tamaki said, grabbing the manga back from the twins, "he's a chain smoker. What will our customers think of that? Plus, smoking isn't allowed on school grounds."

"You're getting way too much into this, as always," Kyouya sighed.

At this point, Haruhi decided to comment as she walked past in her uniform, carrying a few boxes full of costumes. "You could have a lollipop which only looks like a cigarette, like Ginpachi sensei."

The entire host club's jaws dropped.

"WHO'S GINPACHI SENSEI??!! SOUNDS LIKE HE'S SOME PERVY TEACHER WHO'S CORRUPTING MY LITTLE GIRL!!" Tamaki shouted, grabbing Haruhi's arms and knocking the boxes over.

"Idiot. It's a joke from Gintama." Kyouya said condescendingly.

Honey mused, head on his hand, wig askew again despite the pins. "I didn't think Haruhi was an Otaku…"

"Hey!" Haruhi said, a bit defensive. "Kyouya knew about Gintama too, and you're not calling him an Otaku!"

The Twins held up a Gintama file holder. "That's because Kyouya doesn't have THIS."

Immediately, Tamaki started to wrestle with the twins, trying to get the file holder, all the while continuing to shout.

"WHAT??! How can you be such a fangirl without my knowing it?? Do you have pictures in your room of the guys in this anime?! I forbid it!! I'll come take them away! You're too young for this obsession!!"

Haruhi crossed her arms, and started into her lecturing mode. "One, you can't tell me to do anything..."

Tamaki pointed at the picture. "Who is this permed white-haired dude? Is he the hero? You've got to be joking!"

Haruhi ignored him and continued, "...Two, I'd never in a million years let you in my room..."

Tamaki, ignoring her in return, continued, "I'm light years more handsome than him. He has eyes like a dead fish!"

"Three, I'm not a fangirl…"

Tamaki examined the other two in the picture. "Normal looking glasses guy and…hmm, this girl is pretty cute. Why don't you cosplay as her, Haruhi?"

"I just like it..." Haruhi, by now just talking to herself, trailed off into silence. The whole room turned dead as she did.

The Twins looked at the picture over Tamaki's shoulder and snorted, "Hmph. Then we'd all have red hair. How boring."

"Going back to your costume, Tamaki…"

"Actually," Haruhi interupted, looking at Tamaki's costume. "I think it's cool." Haruhi gave one of her rare half-smiles.

"Isn't it?" Tamaki beamed, taking out a huge sword. "Look! Look at my Zanpakuto! I knew you'd think I look cool with it!"

Tamaki started to swing the sword around, and almost hit Mori during one of the more vigorous swings.

"Ah! Be careful!" Haruhi yelled, grabbing the sword by the blade and easily yanking it away from Tamaki. "Who let you have such a dangerous plaything? I never said YOU were cool, I said your costume was."

Tamaki, undaunted by her reproach, was still basking in the warm glow of Haruhi's earlier compliment. "I knew you'd be partial to this character; that's why I picked him."

Haruhi shoot him a withering look.

During their conversation, or rather, argument, Hikaru had started flipping through another manga, this one with an orange haired guy on the front scowling. Now he spoke up, reality breaking through to airborne Tamaki.

"Does it really suit you? You're not the kind of person to wrestle with an inner demon."

"I can't see you wrestling with anything actually, my lord." Kaoru added.

"Do you even know how to fight, Tama-kun?" Honey asked.

Tamaki, looking a bit shifty, started, "Of course…I…A gentleman doesn't need to fight to charm the ladies."

Kyouya sighed, again with head in hand. "But your character comes from a Shounen manga, so he does. Ok, if you really want to be him: Honey, Mori, go over some basic moves with Tamaki please."

Hikaru and Kaoru started snickering as Tamaki was led away forcefully by Honey and Mori. Haruhi looked at them, pitying Honey and Mori.

As an afterthought, Kyouya decided to add "And try not to kill him!"

Haruhi, turning away from poor Tamaki, already getting pounded by Honey, started to appraise the twins' costumes.

"So…you guys are…"

"We're both possessed by evil demons."

"Of course, I'm the cooler one. I get to carry this scroll, and occasionally throw shuriken," said Hikaru, smiling widely.

"Yeah right, your costume is just orange overkill," Kaoru claimed, arms crossed.

Hikaru ignored him, and continued, "And whereas I'm possessed by a cool fox, you just turn into a cat. A CAT."

Haruhi, imitating Hikaru's actions with Tamaki, started to browse through another manga.

"I thought you had blond hair, not orange. It would be overkill if both your costume and hair were orange."

"What?!" Hikaru turned on Kaoru. "I thought you said he had orange hair!! You knew I didn't want to wear a shitty wig!" He started to reach for Kaoru, and though Kaoru had fast reflexes, Hikaru's proved faster. Kaoru was soon in a headlock, yelling for Hikaru to "cut it out already!"

Undaunted by the groups fighting around her, Haruhi continued. "If we're going for yaoi here, why doesn't one of you have dark hair and brood continually, but is still really cool in his aloofness?"

His interest perked, Kyouya looked up from his clipboard. "Yaoi doesn't have to be characters from the same anime or manga. There are plenty of cross-manga parings out there."

"Yeah, get with it, Haruhi! Don't you read yaoi?" Hikaru, still spewing from Kaoru's biting remarks.

"Absolutely NOT."

Kyouya, all business as ever, now appraised Haruhi up and down. "By the way, Haruhi, where's your costume?"

Tamaki picked this up from the other side of the room, where he had already been getting bruises and scratches from trying, without much success, to spar with Honey.

"Yes, where is it? Where is it?"

_Tamaki's went into his ever active 'inner mind theater', and imagined the following scene._

For a moment Haruhi stands normally, arms crossed, on a sparse white background. Tamaki was never one for details. Suddenly, she changed into a buxom red haired girl.

Haruhi held out her arms straight in front of her. "I reject!!"

Tamaki gets a silly grin on his face, and Hikaru waves his hand in front of Tamaki, but gets no reaction.

Back in the mind theater, Haruhi now appeared wearing a pink mini-skirt maid costume, with all the lace and frills this entails. She had a long auburn wig on, and is carrying a tray with tea on it.

"U-uh-um-here's your tea…" She holds out the tray, then stands frozen in a subservient position, in front of her breasts. A not too menacing looking witch appears out of the whiteness.

"Mikuru beam!!" Haruhi squeals.

Before Haruhi can morph again, the twins heads protrude into the whiteness, where Haruhi has frozen in "Mikuru beam" pose.

"Wait, why does she have red hair too?!! What is it with manga and red haired people??!" The twins ask ironically.

Kyouya's head protrudes into the whiteness above the twins. "You two should be the last ones to talk."

Finally, Haruhi intrudes, arms folded, her whole body nearly obscuring the cosplaying.

"Just how am I going to get a rack like hers and the last one? Plastic surgery? You pervert!"

Tamaki is now doubled over, holding his head.

"Arg! Get out of my mind! All of you, out! Especially my daughter!"

"Tamaki-kun, are you all right?" said Honey, poking Tamaki. "Let's practice more!"

Mori, stoic as ever, just looked at Tamaki and spoke a singe word: "Bankai."


	2. Chapter 2

Ten minutes later, Tamaki is lying, eyes closed, drenched in sweat and panting on the couch, an arm flung over his face. Kyouya appraises his condition, looking at him over the back of the couch.

"You really are out of shape. What do you do all day?"

"I don't want to talk. I wanna sleep." Tamaki groaned.

"That's a first" Hikaru snorted.

"Please," Tamaki pleaded, reaching for Kyouya over the top of the couch, "Get me some tea."

Kyouya dexterously avoids Tamaki's hand.

"Please don't touch me with that sweaty hand of yours. My costume will get dirty. It's white..."

"...and lame." Kaoru finished.

"Yeah," Hikaru continued. "Who wears a cape like that, even in manga world?"

"I can also see why you didn't want Tamaki to be from the same manga as you," Kaoru held up a doujin with a picture of a black haired, bespectacled archer lewdly embracing an orange haired, scowling youth.

"These doujins are steamy," he added.

"And not for tender youths to read," Kyouya finished, plucking the doujin from Kaoru's hand and pointing to the 18 warning label.

"Where did you get this?"

"Nowhere..." Hikaru, visibly squirming, quickly changed the subject. "Why aren't you dressed yet, Haruhi?"

Haruhi, looking up from her writing, answered quickly. "I don't want to until the last possible minute."

"And why is that?" Kyouya asked, about ready to smirk.

Haruhi scowled and mumbled, "You of all people should know why."

Kyouya's mouth gave the slightest of twitches, as if his frozen exterior was about to experience the first day of spring, and he's about to smile.

Siting up, his attention perked by anything related to Haruhi (and, to be honest, not wanting to be left out of the convesation), Tamaki had to interject. "Why? Why?

"You'll see." Kyouya answered, a trifle mysterious.

"I'm the leader and founder of this club, so I should be informed of important things!" Under his breath he added, "Especially those concerning my daughter…"

Kaoru looked at Hikaru conspiratorially. "We have some ideas of who she could be."

"Yes…let's go have her try some things on." Hikaru simpered.

The twins began to drag Haruhi behind a wooden screen at one side of the room.

"Why do I have to do this?" Haruhi protested. "I'm already going to be embarrassed enough later."

The twins forcibly push her behind it, and take up their places as guards at the sides.

"Yes, but we're thinking that Kyouya, always thinking about monetary gains and therefore about the costumers' wishes, has cast you as a guy." Kaoru said, standing stiffly at attention.

"Since we most likely can't see you cosplay as a girl during the event, we're having you cosplay before as a girl!"

"We're not letting you out until you put this on!" Hikaru added, throwing some clothes over the screen.

Almost forgetting his bruised limbs, Tamaki leapt off the couch, then landed face first on the floor when his muscles refused to serve his mind. The only part of his body that did do his mind's bidding was his mouth:

"Whose idea was it to have this event? They have my undying love."

Honey stuck out a finger. "It was Mori!"

Tamaki and the twins' heads snapped to Mori, sitting immaculate in his uniform. The collective reaction was a rousing "WHAAAAT???"

"This can't be true!" Tamaki asserted, dumbfounded. He turned to Honey. "You're lying!"

"Nope." Kyouya said, unconcerned. "It was Mori."

"Surely Honey gave him the idea?" Tamaki demanded.

"No." Kyouya repeated. "Mori."

"Are you sure you're remembering correctly?"

"How many times…"

At this point, Haruhi stepped out from behind the screen. "This one isn't too bad, actually, except for the skirt."

She was wearing a school uniform, complete with a plaid skirt hiked up far past her knees, a white blouse, a burgundy blazer, knee socks, and loafers—all of the designer brand. She wore a wig of chin length brown hair. The collective reaction was that of awestruck wonder.

"Eh he he he." said Tamaki, almost unable to form complete words, and keep from drooling.

Haruhi blushed—obviously unaware of the lure of a school girl uniform.

"We thought it was appropriate considering how clumsy you are." Kaoru remarked.

"That was only one time!!" said Haruhi, indignant. "You guys were disturbing when we first met!"

"Also, you have a bad temper like her." Hikaru continued.

Haruhi, starting to talk to herself, mused, "Why didn't I catch it?"

Honey persuing a shoujo manga, given to him by the twins, spoke up.

"She IS like this girl."

"I wouldn't be in this costume if I did…what's wrong with my reflexes?"

Kyoya had walked over to Honey and was reading a bit over Honey's shoulder.

"Hmmm, all she didn't do was punch Tamaki when she was annoyed he was bullying her."

"Oi, don't say my character is a rip-off from an earlier manga!" said Haruhi, startled out of her internal monologue.

Tamaki somehow managed to persuade his unwilling muscles to move, and was trying desperately to enfold Haruhi in his arms. "I would NEVER bully my precious daughter!"

By now all the boys were crowed around Honey, looking at the manga.

"Hmmm," Hikaru pointed at a page. "She's as flat as a board too."

"Yep." agreed Mori.

"Gwah! What is this, another perm haired guy? What is this guy doing? He's touching her…Honey, this is way too steamy for you to be looking at! Give it to me."

Tamaki grabbed the manga. Haruhi immediately knocked the manga out of Tamaki's hand.

"Pervert." she said in a deadpan voice.

"See, you ARE similar…." Hikaru said smugly.

"…always fighting with the male protagonist." Kaoru remarked.

"Tamaki's like the guy too." Kyouya added. "Spoiled…"

"Rich..." said Mori.

"plays the piano..." said Honey.

"over protective…" said Kaoru.

"Hey, both of your characters are rip-offs!" finished Kaoru, laughing.

"I'm much more handsome than this curly brown haired, bad tempered weirdo."

"You certainly beat him in one area," Haruhi said, still deadpan. "Vanity."


End file.
